My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
