You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Boobs speak an international language.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
