Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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