we're blogging at a bar
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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