and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
