if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
