You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We are two peas in an std pod
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
