I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
