The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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