if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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