Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
