piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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