He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
