im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
