There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
