I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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