if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
