Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
