Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
4 words: hood of his car
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
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