I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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