I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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