i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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