I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Bring me that man meat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
