last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
