Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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