Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
