Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
