i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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