I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
