Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
