grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
