Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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