NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
