i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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