No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
