loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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