I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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