it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
3 2 1 whiskey
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
