omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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