Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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