Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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