i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
