Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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