I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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