If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
3pm strippers are depressing
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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