Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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