I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
