I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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