erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
