that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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